​A couple weeks ago you would have been wheeled out of your home in a straitjacket if you had been ranting and raving about a talent show in which celebrities in ridiculous costumes with disguised voices were forced to sing against one another in a bid to keep their identities unknown in front of Rita Ora, Jonathan Ross, Davina McCall and – for some reason – Ben Chang from Community.


But alarmingly, this is now the reality of the world we live in.


The Masked Singer has swept the nation, with its bizarre and peculiar format seemingly gripping audiences up and down the country since it was imported from the US, and the unveiling of football legend Teddy Sheringham as Tree last Saturday has only sparked the curiosity of us football fans.


With that in mind, here is who 90min would love to see embarrass themselves on national television. Or even do well! We're not fussy. 


Peter Crouch​

Peter Crouch

Costume: String bean

Song: Like a Virgin - Madonna 


Let's start with the man many thought actually was Tree. Surprisingly so, given he's about seven inches taller than Sheringham.


But following his hit podcast and frequent appearances as a rather unsettling serious football pundit, many of us have caught Crouch fever. The popularity of the former Tottenham and Liverpool striker has never been so high, and we'd all appreciate hearing his beautiful nasally voice serenading our ears on a Saturday night.


Our choice of song for the former England striker comes from a pretty telling response he once gave to the question of what he would be if he wasn't a footballer. His answer: a virgin.


Mike Dean

Mike Dean

Costume: Superman

Song: Man in the Middle - Bee Gees


​Egotistical, showmanly, loves attention: Mike Dean may actually volunteer to go on The Masked Singer.


The referee is used to being centre stage and absolutely adores the limelight, making him a prime candidate for a talent show. Having just wracked up 500 refereeing appearances, Dean may have conquered the world of football officiating...now it's time to conquer showbiz.


Graeme Souness

Graeme Souness

Costume: William Wallace

Song: I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) - The Proclaimers


The drab and dulcet tones of Souness have long been limited to the spoken word: now it's time for the Scot to sing.


The frosty Sky Sports pundit has perhaps lacked a sense of humour during his stint on television, and there's only one way to prove the critics wrong. The former ​Liverpool legend simply has to appear on our new favourite TV show, with the strange layout of the programme rather fitting for a man with some odd beliefs about football. 


Alan Pardew

Alan Pardew

Costume: Alan Pardew

Song: Simply the Best - Tina Turner


The ego levels of Alan Pardew may not be able to handle a roomful of people standing up and applauding him, regardless of how much pity provoked the reaction. He may just explode.


We also don't believe that the former Newcastle and Crystal Palace boss would be willing to disguise his face, merely seeing this as a method of cheating him out of his 'well-deserved' plaudits.


Jamie Carragher & Gary Neville (Duet)

Jamie Carragher,Gary Neville

Costumes: Bert & Ernie

Song: A medley of The Beatles and Oasis


​While The Masked Singer hasn't been going on too long in the UK, we're already willing to rip up the rule book and enter this pair as a duo.


Their chemistry on screen is something quite beautiful indeed, and their willingness to humiliate each other on the grandest of stages knows no bounds; making them prize turkeys for this Christmas dinner.


The performance would devolve into a screaming match between two strong and squeaky accents, both men desperate to get the upper hand on one another in a battle between Liverpool and Manchester.


Sam Allardyce 

Sam Allardyce

Costume: Yorkshire Pudding

Song: I Love Sausage Rolls - LadBaby


Technically the most successful England manager to have ever graced the planet, we've all been waiting for Big Sam to find his way on to the world of reality TV. 


Having seen the likes of Harry Redknapp conquer the jungle, Allardyce may be contemplating the thought of prime time TV himself - especially given his dwindling influence in the real world of football.


You never know, the former ​Everton boss may just have the voice of an angel...


​Thierry Henry

FBL-CAN-MLS-MONTREAL-HENRY

Costume: Gunnersaurus Rex

Song: Paris - The Chainsmokers


Given his struggles with this whole managerial malarkey, Henry may be relishing the prospect of a little retirement cheque from the world of reality TV. 


It seems likely that the Arsenal legend would have a sweet and seductive voice and his French accent would undoubtedly win him over with the crowd. Considering his staple appearances in the Renault adverts, Henry clearly hasn't ruled out a life on the screen.


Robbie Savage

Stockport Town v Oswestry Town - North West Counties Football League First Division

Costume: Leek

Song: Lonely Boy - The Black Keys


Let's face it, it must be pretty lonely being Robbie Savage. Pretending you know what you're talking about amongst esteemed panels of some of the world's footballing greats of the past must take it out of you.


As a result, it might be nice for Robbie to follow up his appearance on Strictly with another dazzling set of performances on stage, proving that he's bang average at absolutely everything he does.


Ryan Giggs

FBL-EUR-EURO-2020-DRAW

Costume: Snake

Song: He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother


Actually, we'll just leave this one here...